Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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