remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
