yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
