I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
