dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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