I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize