You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
