Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
