There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
