he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
