Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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