i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I came so hard my ears popped.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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