it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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