if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
