two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
