Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize