i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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