Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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