I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
