i permit you to call me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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