ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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