McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
