how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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