apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
