she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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