Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
