White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
