I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
