2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
