the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
