You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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