We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
