We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
