You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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