I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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