There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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