What a fucking waste of an outfit
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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