just come out here and I will go home with you...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
