What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
