C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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