I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
