they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
