At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
