I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
