i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Even my vagina gasped.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
