Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
