Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
