During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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