At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
