so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
