So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
