Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
