I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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