super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize