i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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