That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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