so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
