Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Barsexuality is the new black.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize