marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
why do cheetos always look like penises
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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