im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize