some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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