great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
