ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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