i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
