You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she peed on how many people?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
