You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
