Porn is love you can see.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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