My vagina just recognized that song.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
