i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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