Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
