I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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