I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
