do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
