Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize